Saturday, July 28, 2007

Saturday 28th July

Truth and trust are such elusive concepts. Some people tell lies, some people offer up an incomplete truth through omission. So who should you trust? Can you even trust your own gut instinct?

So the VP update. We had drinks again last night but I told him in no uncertain terms that the fact that he had a girlfriend was a dealbreaker. But then, I have been doing my due diligence on the guy. And it turns out that he'd got quite a reputation in the office for being a slut. A 20-year-old intern?! Anyway, I asked him about it and he was like "that's not the truth, but I don't mind having these rumors spread in the office." I am really not sure what to think. Anyway, the more I find out, the more I think this is one situation I should avoid, girlfriend or not.


3 months in NY, 15 to go.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Wednesday July 25th

I learnt last night that Negronis can be very strong drinks and especilly dangerous when consumed on an empty stomach. And shoestring fries are well, too shoestring, to mop up the alcohol. But I did have a lovely evening in the company of friends before I had to take myself home.


I had not posted for some time because I spent the better part of last week in the company of my readership. (Since no one other than my friends from London seem to be reading this) I had an amazing time in London. I definitely slept too little, went out too much and ate too much yummy Chinese food.

And of course, I was there for K-dog's wedding. I think this is the first wedding where I've known either the bride or groom well enough to truly appreciate what a great match they were. As DRA put it, with them, "you just knew from the very beginning!" It gives some hope to the rest of us that we might find someone who lights up our lives the same way K-Dog and his wife do for each other. On a more bimbo note, I managed to live up to the country wedding cliche, and managed to score a ride back into the city in a Porsche.

I wish I had a bit more time in London. There were still things I wanted to do like catch up with more friends, go to Borough Market for Monmouth coffee and Comte, sit out in Hyde Park, go to the Claridges Bar/Blue Bar, eat more steamed egg at Gold Mine, find myself an Russian oligarch or two etc.

This trip wasn't homecoming though. There are many familiar things and many loved ones in London, but it just never became home. Is NY home then? I can't answer that question at this point, but I definitely feel less as though I am in a state of transition.


And yes I have been behaving.

Friday, July 13, 2007

Friday the 13th

Home on a Friday night. I have to wake up at some insane hour tomorrow morning in order to catch a train to go kayaking in upstate NY. Yes, I am mad.


Out of boredom, I decided to take a look at the personal ads on Craiglist. Online dating seems to work for many people of this generation who dont have enough time to go out and actually meet people. Maybe the Love of My Life is waiting for me in an online ad.

Nothing caught my eye tonight, and actually I'm not convinced about Craigslist hookups, except my dining chairs. Plus my experience with Craigslist in the past hasn't been all that great. When I was in SF last year with no friends, I decided to use Craiglist to find people to hang out with.

First guy I met was some Asian-American paralegal. Seemed nice enough but not someone I would have put effort into keeping in touch with.

Second guy was a teacher who was moving to Chicago for grad school and just wanted someone to hang out with before he moved. It was pretty obvious from our first meeting that sparks wouldn't fly between us. But he had tickets to a SF Giants Game, and we went. The AT&T Ballpark is amazing. It's built on the bay with one side of the stadium open to the water.

And the last guy. My last morning in SF and I desperately wanted to go to the farmers' market at Ferry Plaza so I posted an ad. Some guy responded and sounded relatively decent. plus I'd googled the name and he came up as a master's student in journalism at Berkeley. Imagine my shock when I show up at the designated meeting spot and he turns out to be a short little Lebanese guy whose name is not what he claimed. "I don't like giving out my real name to people I meet online. you never know who you meet." How true. I fled as quickly as it was polite to do so.


My colleague - let's call him Michigan Wolverine ("MW") - tried asking me out again. I've tried to tactfully turned him down a number of times before. Today, I actually said it out, "yes, let's go for drinks, but as friends."

He's a great guy, but just not my type. Plus I don't think it's right to shit in my own backyard.

But of course, I kissed my VP last night. We went out for drinks. He'd walked me home and we were saying our goodbyes and before we knew it, our lips were on each other's lips. "How did this happen?" Eventually I pulled away. It would have been too weird going to the same meeting 6 hours later. So, behave S, behave.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Thursday July 12th

My colleague just brought his 2-week old baby daughter into the office. So adorable!!

Yes, I think I am actually getting broody. And yes, for those of you who don't know me, you can probably guess how old/young I must be. I'm getting to that age where my friends are settling down, getting married and having kids.

And you know what, I am not afraid to shout it out loud that I want to get married and raise a family. People tend to be surprised when they learn that about me. Theoretically, I have a high-flying career, am decently attractive and won't need to settle for just any guy.

And after all the bra-burning feminists' effort to break the stereotype of female giving up their careers to stay home to raise the kids, it seems almost wrong to have such an traditional ambition. But I think the real victory for the feminist movement should be that now, women have a choice if they want to be stay-home-moms rather climb the corporate ladder or in some extremely ambitious cases, have it all.

And in my case, I grew up in a single parent family, always looking enviously at other families with both mom and dad, wondering if my mom and I would have been happier if my dad was still around.

As a result, I want my own family, both mom and dad, a few kids (because being an only child sucks). I want us to be always laughing and happy. I want to be holding hands with my husband even at the age of 60. I want my kids to look upon my happy relationship with my husband and aspire towards that themselves.

I leave you with a picture of my darling god-daughter. Guys, you've been warned, she is going to be a real heartbreaker.

The Observer has a piece on The New Victorians who are getting married, having babies and buying real estate in their twenties, rather than getting wasted and sleeping around. Return to traditional values?

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Wednesday July 11th

Two minutes ago, I looked out of the window and it was grey. One minute ago, I looked out again and it had gone dark. And now it's back to being grey due to the thick curtain of rain that is pouring down furiously. Damn! Not good for my gym plans.


fast forward a couple of hours. it's stopped raining. and i know i've had a really really really great night coz ive laughed so much tonight. i know my eyes are twinkling and there's a smile i can't wipe off my face. no i was not on a date. in fact, i was hanging out with a girl, my real estate agent.

whenever i think about it, i have been so lucky in new york. i stumbled upon a real estate agent just as my friend commented that he had never seen a real estate agent in new york. she happened to be a crazy russian barbie-doll-lookalike. and the landlord's agent happened to be this crazy russian jew who is "original but good heart". and as a result, i have this crazy nice apartment i can call home.

i'm one lucky girl. :)


cheerio from (hot) Dallas -- luckily get to chill by an infinity pool under the stars =)
(and no, not naked)

no such luck with infinity pools in hot and humid NY :( nudity possible though

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Tuesday July 10th

I am in shock. My college sorta roommate just got engaged!!!!

If you ever met Barbara in college, you'd be just as shocked. She's the Belarussian version of chilli padi, small and full of energy. Almost everyone at university knew her, even people from other colleges. From Day One, she was the one who would march straight up to strangers and introduced herself whether or not they were expecting an introduction. And all throughout college, Barbara was louder and more colourful than anyone else.

But she also had a sensible side to her as well. Whenever I was upset or confused, I'd pop next door to her room and she'd make me a cup of tea (I know, how very English!), listen to my woes and dish out her surprisingly mature advice.

And now, she's engaged.

WOW. I am so happy for her.

But still, WOW. It's one thing when friends in Singapore announce their engagement coz that's what everybody does once they can afford the downpayment for their HDB flat. It's another thing when my non-Singaporean friends, especially Barbara, announce their engagements.

I shan't go into this in detail coz it's too Ally MacBeal-ish, but there's a part of me that is scared that I will be the old maid left on the shelf soon. Which brings me to my next point...


I had the conversation with Frenchie last night. It wan't an easy one to have because I knew how much he felt for me. And even then I hadn't realised until after we had our conversation, exactly how much he felt for me. I felt awful because I just didn't feel so much for him. And whilst I would have liked to continue seeing him, I didn't want to give him hope that may not manifest itself into anything real.


So yes, I've got to go out and start making new friends again, which is the whole point of this blog anyway. If you know of anyone in NY who is cool to hang out with, please send them my way. Male or female, straight or gay, any ethnicity, equal opportunities.

Sunday, July 8, 2007

Sunday July 8th

I went for drinks with a colleague during the week. Said colleague is known as the office gossip. Over drinks, he offered me quite a few juicy morsels of gossip - xx partner had an affair with his black assistant while his wife was pregnant, xx associate had an affair with the pretty blonde assistant ... But what caught my attention most was that a former assistant slept with a couple of the analysts and apparently was so horny that she begged one of them to have sex with her in front of her hotel room door in miami because she'd lost her room key.

I know this girl in question and she's a nice fun girl. And I could totally imagine her doing that. But then knowing her sexual preferences/habits does lead one to form certain mental images, whether or not you like it. And whilst her preferences/habits don't make a difference to our friendship it's going to be at the back of my mind the next time I see her. Dear Reader, does knowing your friends' sexual preferences/habits change the way you think about them?


My latest craze is madeleines. According to Wikipedia, these are "very small cakes with a distinctive shell-like shape acquired from being baked in special pans with shell-shaped depressions. Their flavour is similar to, but somewhat lighter than, pound cake, with a pronounced butter-and-lemon taste." I made a batch of batter on Wed, left it in the fridge for the flavours to develop. And here comes the best part, with the batter in the fridge, it was so easy to put a tray of madeleines into the oven, 7 minutes later, these little yummy cakes were ready. Crispy on the outside, soft buttery deliciousness on the inside. Yum!!


I just read the text above. Seems so incongruous to be writing about sex and food in the same post. Ha.

Friday, July 6, 2007

Friday July 6th

I have realised over the last few days that my years in this industry have actually taught me something. I am actually incredibly patient now, compared to my youth.

Wednesday, July 4, 2007

Wednesday July 4th

Today is American Independence Day, the day America came to be. It being my first time, I am not quite what 4th of July should really stand for. I am told it's about BBQs and fireworks. But I was stuck in the office all day plus the weather was shite in NY today. I did managed to catch a bit of the fireworks though.

What 4th of July stands for to me is the American Dream. Immigrants from all over the world travelled to the United States in search of a better life. In America, class doesn't matter quite as much as hard work. If you worked hard enough, there was a very good chance that your children would lead a far better life than you ever did. And in fact, it was even possible to change your fortunes within one generation. Of course this also means that those who fail or fall behind, can get left very very very far behind.

The proposed reform to the Immigration Act is somethin very close to my heart. As someone whose career choices have so far been dictated by immigration laws, I feel strongly that governments should allow free movement of people as far as possible. We are becoming an increasingly global society. In order for a society to prosper, it needs to have the brightest minds as well as the people who will do the jobs that no one else will do. And this is why I support both highly skilled and low-skilled migration. Instead of trying to restrict immigration altogether, America needs to find a way to manage it.


More about madeleines in another post.

Tuesday, July 3, 2007

Tuesday July 3rd

8.40pm and I am still in the office. S is not a happy bunny.

But more importantly, I am taking time out of my busy Excel schedule to blog about The One Who Got Away. I am sure we all have one of these - the one whom you thought was the One, but then you never were and will never be. You don't hear from them for ages but then everytime they pop up in your lives, your knees go weak and your heart beats a little faster.

I methim on a flight. We got along really well on the 6 hour flight. We stayed in touch, but he lived in Frankfurt.

Two weeks after that first flight, he invited me to meet him in Paris for the day. I refused because I wanted to play hard to get, but I ended up going to Brussels the next weekend because he was on my mind so much.

Over the following year and a half, we were sorta in touch. Sorta as in he would go MIA whenever he was dating someone else in Frankfurt.

During that time, we even had a conversation where I put myself out there and told him how I just couldn't get him off my mind. But he pointed out, "there was no point starting something since we were in different cities."

Anyway, to cut a long story short, this guy haunted my memory for about two years. Every new guy that I met was inevitably compared to him, and almost always fell short.

Finally, I saw him walking down the street in London hand-in-hand with his new girlfriend. I think we both saw each other from the corner of our eyes but refused to acknowledge each other. And that was when I decided to stop moping over him.

But when I moved to NY, I sent out a mass mailer about my move. And I guess there was a part of me that wanted him to know that I was in the same country as him now, albeit with a longer flight separating us than before. He responded to my email and we exchanged a number of brief emails. I had not heard from him for several weeks and had written him off (for about the zillionth time). And what do you know, an email just popped up in my inbox!

Be still, my pounding heart...

How does one kill hope? Because in spite of all the disappointment and heartache I have experienced over this guy who has never felt the same way for me, there's a part of me that still thinks he is the One.

p.s. In case you were wondering, I did not actually sleep with him over the whole long period until I knew it was never going to work between us.

Monday, July 2, 2007

Monday July 2nd

I'm supposed to be at work right now. Or rather to Frenchie, I am at the office working hard. But really, I just got home after a drink with Joe (of the dinner party). It is probably not a good sign that I am lying to Frenchie to avoid seeing him.

Frenchie has been a real sweetheart. He saw the copy of Claudia Fleming's Gramercy Tavern Desserts recipe book on my bedside table and surprised me by taking me to dessert at Gramercy Tavern last Friday night. Then on Saturday, I mentioned that I was looking forward to getting some marmalade when I was next back in London. Lo and behold, he presents me with a bottle of marmalade on Sunday.

But still no, I am not feeling it from him. He does not challenge me, nor make me want to be better. We would not be able to maintain a continuous volley. We would run out of things to talk about (in fact, maybe we have).

Maybe the one thing that my 2007 "no-schmuck" rule is doing for me is to make me realise that actually I need to be with a schmuck?


On other news, I finally have a real assignment to work on. Yeay! The not-so-good thing is that I have to work over the 4th of July holiday. Boo.

Also, I finally got around to cleaning my apartment. It's starting to look more and more like my original inspiration for it - the penthouse of the Soho Grand Hotel. A friend came over on the weekend and commented that my place looked like a bachelor pad. Could have been the 42" TV?

Carrot Proust