Saturday, February 7, 2009

Starting over again

After the last twp fiascoes, you will not be surprised that I am going on a man-nesty.

I am thinking about taking some time out to travel this year. The idea excites me and scares me at the same time.

On the list: Costa Rica to learn surfing, Mexico, Brazil, Bali, Indonesia, Laos, Myanmar, Argentina, Peru for now. I am also hoping to get some kitchen apprenticeships along the way. And hopefully after all the travelling, I will be off to business school at the start of next year.

What's scary? Giving up what I have worked so hard to build - my life in London. This is where my friends are. Having been away once, this town is not going to be the same if/when I come back. I will have to start again.

I once wrote about being a global soul and being able to pack and unpack the essence of my life wherever I go to make myself feel at ease in new places. Maybe I am growing too old for that now?

On a more upbeat now, I will have amazing skin in about half an hour when I peel off my SK-II mask. Ah the wonders of expensive skincare!

Monday, February 2, 2009

2nd post in a day!

I know, it's incredible. I don't post very often and suddenly you get two posts in a day!!!

So this guy I hooked up with once before calls me up out of the blue...After exchanging pleasantries...

Him: "This is going to sound really weird, but I just wanted you to know that whilst I enjoyed hanging out with you, I am jut not at that point in my life to get into anything serious. I would feel bad if I led you on.."

Me:"Erm, I wasn't even expecting to see or hear from you again after that night. We don't have to stay in touch to make ourselves feel less guilty."

Him: "Oh OK, glad we are on the same page then. So, do you have friends with privileges?"

Me: "Ermmm, generally no."

Him: "Well I guess I should crack on with some stuff I need to get done tonight."

Me: "OK, I am glad you feel better about yourself now. Bye"


London in the snow

This is the first time I've seen this much snow in London. It snowed overnight and accumulated and it continues to snow today. So guess what..I'm staying home today! Yeay!!! Especially coz I was dreading going back to work anyway.

Work, well, it's been pretty painful recently. Not because it's been long hours or tough, but because I am finding it harder and harder to keep up the pretence that I care about my job. I "checked out" a long time ago, about three years ago actually. But I've managed to somehow bumble along and keep people mostly happy with my work. But not anymore. And this year is the year in which I actually need to up my effort level for my promotion t the year of the year. And I am just not feeling it, I'm not feeling enuff luv to put in more effort, to kiss ass, to pretend to enjoy my job. So this year will be a year of change for sure.

I was reading my last post about wanting this year to be a calm and uneventful year. It doesn't seem to be working so far. Not after a crazy Saturday night at some random party where I run into a guy whom I went out with and never called back. He said hi and pretty much avoided me the rest of the night. I did my own thing and had a lot of fun. I ended up at the afterparty which was at his place. He continuing ignoring me and my friends were leaving, so I got my coat to go. And I got stopped at the door by his best friend. He said V thought I wasn't interested and insisted I should talk with V. He also suggested I should have sex with V. I thought it was odd and yet somewhat compelling that a guy's best friend was trying so hard to help him get a girl.

As I was leaving in the morning, he was sleeping on the couch. The best friend, that is. It hit me that I'd gone for the wrong guy. E was the one I wanted all along. But too late...oh well! If we are fated, then it will be...

Speaking about V, I googled him one day. I found an essay about his journey from a small country in Central America to uni in Holland to work in London and eventually his MBA. It was a very impressive story, especially the bits about working 20 hours a week in Chinese restaurants to pay for college. And to be honest, I was ready to marry him after reading this story. But I also found something else...I found out about his interest in adult photography! Hmmm, not sure what to make of that! But I think I should stop cyber-stalking people before getting to know them in real life!

Right, I am off to enjoy the rest of my snow day...