Saturday, February 7, 2009

Starting over again

After the last twp fiascoes, you will not be surprised that I am going on a man-nesty.

I am thinking about taking some time out to travel this year. The idea excites me and scares me at the same time.

On the list: Costa Rica to learn surfing, Mexico, Brazil, Bali, Indonesia, Laos, Myanmar, Argentina, Peru for now. I am also hoping to get some kitchen apprenticeships along the way. And hopefully after all the travelling, I will be off to business school at the start of next year.

What's scary? Giving up what I have worked so hard to build - my life in London. This is where my friends are. Having been away once, this town is not going to be the same if/when I come back. I will have to start again.

I once wrote about being a global soul and being able to pack and unpack the essence of my life wherever I go to make myself feel at ease in new places. Maybe I am growing too old for that now?

On a more upbeat now, I will have amazing skin in about half an hour when I peel off my SK-II mask. Ah the wonders of expensive skincare!

Monday, February 2, 2009

2nd post in a day!

I know, it's incredible. I don't post very often and suddenly you get two posts in a day!!!

So this guy I hooked up with once before calls me up out of the blue...After exchanging pleasantries...

Him: "This is going to sound really weird, but I just wanted you to know that whilst I enjoyed hanging out with you, I am jut not at that point in my life to get into anything serious. I would feel bad if I led you on.."

Me:"Erm, I wasn't even expecting to see or hear from you again after that night. We don't have to stay in touch to make ourselves feel less guilty."

Him: "Oh OK, glad we are on the same page then. So, do you have friends with privileges?"

Me: "Ermmm, generally no."

Him: "Well I guess I should crack on with some stuff I need to get done tonight."

Me: "OK, I am glad you feel better about yourself now. Bye"


London in the snow

This is the first time I've seen this much snow in London. It snowed overnight and accumulated and it continues to snow today. So guess what..I'm staying home today! Yeay!!! Especially coz I was dreading going back to work anyway.

Work, well, it's been pretty painful recently. Not because it's been long hours or tough, but because I am finding it harder and harder to keep up the pretence that I care about my job. I "checked out" a long time ago, about three years ago actually. But I've managed to somehow bumble along and keep people mostly happy with my work. But not anymore. And this year is the year in which I actually need to up my effort level for my promotion t the year of the year. And I am just not feeling it, I'm not feeling enuff luv to put in more effort, to kiss ass, to pretend to enjoy my job. So this year will be a year of change for sure.

I was reading my last post about wanting this year to be a calm and uneventful year. It doesn't seem to be working so far. Not after a crazy Saturday night at some random party where I run into a guy whom I went out with and never called back. He said hi and pretty much avoided me the rest of the night. I did my own thing and had a lot of fun. I ended up at the afterparty which was at his place. He continuing ignoring me and my friends were leaving, so I got my coat to go. And I got stopped at the door by his best friend. He said V thought I wasn't interested and insisted I should talk with V. He also suggested I should have sex with V. I thought it was odd and yet somewhat compelling that a guy's best friend was trying so hard to help him get a girl.

As I was leaving in the morning, he was sleeping on the couch. The best friend, that is. It hit me that I'd gone for the wrong guy. E was the one I wanted all along. But too late...oh well! If we are fated, then it will be...

Speaking about V, I googled him one day. I found an essay about his journey from a small country in Central America to uni in Holland to work in London and eventually his MBA. It was a very impressive story, especially the bits about working 20 hours a week in Chinese restaurants to pay for college. And to be honest, I was ready to marry him after reading this story. But I also found something else...I found out about his interest in adult photography! Hmmm, not sure what to make of that! But I think I should stop cyber-stalking people before getting to know them in real life!

Right, I am off to enjoy the rest of my snow day...

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Still catching my breath..

...I hadn't realised how much 2008 had taken out of me until now. I am still in recovery from 2008 and haven't been able to embrace 2009 with as much gusto as I should. 10 days into the new year and I still haven't figured our my resolutions or what I hope to achieve in 2009. I just want 2009 to be as calm, stable and unexciting as possible.

2008 should be considered an overall good year for me. But it was also possibly a year in which too much happened...

- I started the year in Mumbai for G&R's traditional Indian wedding; 2 new saris which still need to be worn; discover the wonder of Bollywood films on Jet Airways; Mumbai is the first place I have travelled to where I felt unsafe
- I tried to keep my bday lowkey especially because my nearest and dearest weren't around in NY; I fled back to London for the weekend to spend it with loved ones
- I finally did my 8 week culinary techniques class at the Culinary Institute which breathed fresh inspiration into my cooking
- I finally got to know K who has been a tremendous inspiration to me ever since
- I got myself out of the horrible horrible place that was my office in NY and moved back to London
- I realised it wasn't that straightforward moving back to London and I would actually have to create a new life for myself again
- I achieved Virgin Flying Club Gold and Starwood Platinum status In Mar after doing too many trans-Atlantic flights and spending a month in Room 1506 at the Sheraton Park Tower
- I started climbing regularly and got to know E who has been a good friend since
- I started Body Combat classes and boy do I love the endorphins and adrenaline cursing through my veins after every session
- I started doing dinner parties at my place in London and we had some pretty good sessions last year; here's to more of those this year
- I had an amazing time in Vietnam; met some great people including the Belgians; stayed in the Nam Hai and got myself addicted to nice resorts
- I went out with someone for 3 months, setting a new record for my recent dating history. Too bad it didn't work out and things remain somewhat complicated
- I realised that I can be quite a sensual person and that I crave touch and affection
- I met the Belgians in Vietnam, went to visit them in Brussels, they came to visit in Singapore; in 2009, they're visiting London in Feb hopefully, I'll spend a week with them in Belgium in Mar/April and we will hopefully do New Year's in Indonesia
- I went to Noma and spent an unforgettable 10 hours there
- I got into whiskey, cognacs, armagnacs and grappas; I dislike the taste of Baileys now
- I almost moved to China
- I went to Mumbai, Charleston, Lisbon, Berlin, Vietnam, HK, Copenhagen, Brussels, Piedmont and Siem Reap, not to mention work daytrips to Cinncinnati and SF
- I still dislike my work and perhaps actually hate it even more but haven't quite figured out what I want to do
- My friends started settling into happy longterm relationships; I am happy for them, but feel more alone than before
- I finally went to Angkor Wat after years of wanting to go; it was slightly underwhelming but I am glad I finally did it
- I ended the year on a great note; it was warm in Singapore; the Belgians came to visit and charmed my friends and family; I developed a small crush on a boy (not a man for a change); I started contemplating a move back to Asia

Sunday, December 7, 2008


Ever since I was a teenager, I've been reading horoscopes and taking them seriously to varying degrees. Whenever things get tough or uncertain, I turn to horoscopes ever more often and take them ever more seriously. I guess it's like religion, you reach for some form of reassurance when time are tough. Same reason why I went to the fortune teller a couple of months ago. And this year, I have leaned on horoscopes more than ever.

And I am aware that I shouldn't take horoscopes too seriously coz they make you start looking for those signs in your life as described in your horoscope. For example, I am taking this guy I met a couple of weeks ago far more seriously than I should even though a) he lives in a different city b) he is 40 and c) he is divorced. But then I a) met him on the weekend that my horoscope said I would b) my horoscope said that the one I met during that particular weekend is very likely the one and c) the fortune teller had said my guy would have been married before.

And now my horoscope is warning me of a big work-related conflict coming up this week. On website says that I may have been complacent about something which will come to the surface this week. Another website says that although conflict is expected, my starsign should be insulated from it. And yet another says that I will have to make an unpleasant but ultimately right decision. With all the unpleasantness already at work, I find it hard to not to believe all these predictions. I am dreading the week already. And I know I am being silly and I am trying hard to dismiss these thoughts.

Argh I am so done with 2008. It's been a loooooong year. Bring on 2009!

Sun sign Capricorn, Moon sigh Aries and Chinese zodiac Monkey if you must know.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Office politics

I found out a couple of pieces of office gossip recently which are basically about people stabbing each other in the back. That has left a seriously bad taste at the back of my mouth. Not that I love-love-love my workplace in the first place. I have not enjoyed my work for some time now. And the people I get on with at work have either left the firm or just become too up their ars*s. I have known for some time that I will not be staying there too much longer. Right now, I am just treading water, hoping to stay afloat for as long as possible before I go.

Our office Christmas party is on the 11th of December. I have tickets to see Gotan Project that night. I have a tonne of friends going to watch Gotan. And the last time I saw Gotan, I had a really fun time. So it's really a no-brainer for me to ditch the office Christmas party in favour of having fun with my friends.

Or maybe not.

I am now thinking that I should probably show up just to maintain appearances if anything. Even though it won't come as a surprise when I leave next year, I shouldn't probably NOT make it so obvious that I am leaving. Argh, office politics. I am trying to leave on a good note. But every additional day I spend at work makes it so much more difficult to stay positive.

How are you guys getting on at work? Any sage words on dealing with office politics?

On another note, I am looking forward to roasting my 6.215kg turkey tomorrow.

Monday, November 17, 2008

What a surreal weekend!

Two lessons I have learnt this weekend:

1) Viagra works for alleviating altitude sickness as it promotes circulation. Apparently everyone at Everest Base Camp is popping these.

2) The best way to get over a guy is to get under a new guy.


I had a pretty crazy weekend, almost to make up for my totally chilled out weekend in NYC last week. I partied harder than I have for a looooooong time. Two nights in a row until half 3. Haha, I am not sure I believe I am still capable of that!

The other thing I did this weekend was to revert to my old self. I hooked up with a guy who is my typical kind of guy. After having strayed off with the last guy, I had almost convinced myself that items on my checklist would not matter for the right guy. But this weekend's guy - tall, tick; successful, tick; intelligent, tick; mature, tick; unavailable (lives in NYC), tick! Maybe after all these years on the dating scene have taught me a thing or two about what I actually want in a guy and maybe my checklist is actually what works for me. Except the unavailable bit, that, I have been burnt enough times to have a strong view against that.

I have realised that my brain isn't actually working very coherently to write a proper blog entry, but I just wanted to get that down somewhere. I promise to write properly next time.