Monday, October 1, 2007

Husbands and wives.

I was a faghag and hung out with my Pansy Posse on Saturday. We spent a lazy afternoon in the park drinking Pimms. These uncivlized non-English don't understand that 3-to-1 means 3 parts Sprite, 1 part Pimms rather than 3 parts Pimms, 1 part Sprite. Which obviously made the afternoon even more enjoyable.

When the sun set, we gathered our things and went to a friend's place for dinner. Y had prepared the most delicious Panang curry and beehoon for dinner. I think I must have had about 5 rounds of food that night. Yum!

Oh wait, I was suppposed to talk about Husbands and Wives. Not the Woody Allen film, but about roles in a relationship.

On Sat night, the Pansy Posse present included 2 gay couples:

- S, white HBS-educated investment banker who grew up amidst cornfields in rural Ohio and Y, Japanese media-type who loves to cook and clean
- N, Asian-American HBS-educated Goldman Sachs client-relations type and O, Finnish musclehead who is a shop assistant at a home furnishings place

In other words, couples who displayed some of the traditional heterosexual power balance. Both couples had a breadwinner and a domestic homemaker - Husband and Wife.

After dinner, I hung out with a girlfriend of mine. She's 25 and her boyfriend of 5 years is 9 years older. Since leaving consulting, he's been working in a corporate and recently seems to favor WOW over corporate fast-tracking. "You know, I am probably on track to out-earn him in two years." He also does most of the cooking and cleaning around their place. "I have a wife and his name is H."

It is slightly ironic how the power-play between them has changed over the years. When they first started dating, she was the wide-eyed college student and he was the older, grown-up, working man. And now she is the high-flying careerwoman and he is kinda still where he was 5 years ago. I wonder if this relationship will survive the change in balance of power?

I was once in a relationship where the balance of power changed and we parted not long after. Yes, I guess I am the Wife-type, even if it is not apparent from my CV. And the modern-day feminist in me believes that I should be allowed to be the Wife if that is what makes me happy. Now, to find that Husband...

Husbands and Wives.


On a different note, I had (kinda) random people over for a dinner party again last night. It was fun. Sunday Suppers was one of my NY resolutions and I am glad that I'm carrying it through.

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