Sorry I haven't posted in a while. I was preoccupied this week with a drawn out text exchange with the Ex (not technically since he never got to Boyfriend status, but let's call him that for convenience). Ex starts the week with an email saying he would like to stay in touch. And somehow we agreed to meet up on Fri night. Fri night rolls along, wham bam, a long emotional conversation later, I'm at his place and we're having frenetic intense ex-sex.
The long emotional conversation went along the lines of: him - I really like hanging out with you and I think we have a great sexual connection. I would like to continue spending time with you, but I really cannot commit at this point; me - yes, me too. And I want to keep it simple - we like hanging out so we hang out and we will get in touch with each other when we think of each other, nothing like marriage whatsoever. him - yes, we can continue spending time and having fun together just like we did before, but you have to understand that it will not progress further. I won't do anything romantic or even tell you things like 'I miss you'. At which point I caved and reached over to kiss him...
Maybe I am not in a position to date someone properly myself, but I don't think I could see on a regular basis, someone I couldn't be sure whether or not he cared for me. I think I should have accumulated enough good karma along the way to deserve to have someone who is crazy head-over-heels-in-love with me. The f-ed up arrangements the Ex proposed just doesn't work. I am not sure I could be friends with him either. And I am going to be honest with myself about that.
This wouldn't be a single girl blog if I didn't spend some column space moaning about Ex-es, but we have to move on.
I have a Halloween party tonight. Guess what I am going as? :P Wonderwoman!! I am looking forward to the party already! Pics may follow, if you're good and drop me a comment if you're reading this blog.
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Crystal ball gazing
I went to see a psychic/fortune teller yesterday. She wasn't the gypsy in fringe-y layer-y clothing you'd have expected. Instead, she was a perfectly pleasant elderly Dutch lady.
With psychics, it is always hard to tell how much they are saying is really your fortune or whether they are just extremely perceptive people who are able to read people well. I guess the best approach to take is not to ask questions at the beginning and just let them ramble. I think they work best when they don't know what they are expected to say.
So why would an educated and highly intelligent young woman go to see a psychic? Well, because I needed to pay some nice old lady 50 quid to tell me that the sky wasn't going to fall in and that I'd be OK. Seriously though, I think she made a few good points:
- I have been moving around a fair bit and will continue doin so for the next little while
- I probably won't be in London in the long term, something about the climate doesn't agree with me
- wherever I end up in the future, I will have two homes
- I will be settled at some point, but it will be linked with a partner
- the man I will end up with is someone who will want to take care of me and will possibly have been married before
- the match I end up with will be as much of a rational decision as an emotional decision
- i will start a new business venture soon and I have to bear in mind that this is only the first step, not the be-all-end-all
- next Spring will be a very important period for my big change
- I will retain some connection to the States, possibly Florida
- I should consume less dairy
- I need to have more fun!
What I got out of this was reassurance rather than anything else. I have been feeling very unsettled recently, and possibly also a little down. And I needed someone to tell me everything was going to be OK. And that's what I got.
OK, it's time for me to go out and have some fun now.
p.s. why must all scenes in CSI be shot in mostly darkness? How do you operate a scientific lab without fluorescent lighting?
p.p.s. one thing that sucks about being single is not being able to laze in bed with a warm body beside you and the prospect of spending the day in bed having lots of hot sex. oh well, moving on!
With psychics, it is always hard to tell how much they are saying is really your fortune or whether they are just extremely perceptive people who are able to read people well. I guess the best approach to take is not to ask questions at the beginning and just let them ramble. I think they work best when they don't know what they are expected to say.
So why would an educated and highly intelligent young woman go to see a psychic? Well, because I needed to pay some nice old lady 50 quid to tell me that the sky wasn't going to fall in and that I'd be OK. Seriously though, I think she made a few good points:
- I have been moving around a fair bit and will continue doin so for the next little while
- I probably won't be in London in the long term, something about the climate doesn't agree with me
- wherever I end up in the future, I will have two homes
- I will be settled at some point, but it will be linked with a partner
- the man I will end up with is someone who will want to take care of me and will possibly have been married before
- the match I end up with will be as much of a rational decision as an emotional decision
- i will start a new business venture soon and I have to bear in mind that this is only the first step, not the be-all-end-all
- next Spring will be a very important period for my big change
- I will retain some connection to the States, possibly Florida
- I should consume less dairy
- I need to have more fun!
What I got out of this was reassurance rather than anything else. I have been feeling very unsettled recently, and possibly also a little down. And I needed someone to tell me everything was going to be OK. And that's what I got.
OK, it's time for me to go out and have some fun now.
p.s. why must all scenes in CSI be shot in mostly darkness? How do you operate a scientific lab without fluorescent lighting?
p.p.s. one thing that sucks about being single is not being able to laze in bed with a warm body beside you and the prospect of spending the day in bed having lots of hot sex. oh well, moving on!
Friday, October 24, 2008
Picking myself up
This has been a long week. I ended things with this guy I have been seeing. There were a lot of things going for us, but ultimately I don't think either of us were ready to commit properly to a relationship.
I learnt a lot from it. This is kinda the first time I have properly attempted a relationship in my four years in London. Most of the guys have been short-term flings, or relationships which were doomed from the start. This one started with good intentions and probably ended with good intentions as well.
Anyway, I need to stop dwelling upon it because I have a greater tendency to remember the good things rather than the bad things. I have to move on and I think maybe starting to write again might help me with that.
There are not many "single girl blogs" out there, mostly coz most single girl blogs start and either end up with singleton finding true love and turning into sappy relationship blog or the singleton getting so cynical and jaded she stops writing altogether. I don't know where this one will end up, but let's see.
I'll propose a toast to this blog of mine with my gin and tonic. And if you will excuse me, I've got some CSI to catch up on before I end out for some Friday Frolics.
I learnt a lot from it. This is kinda the first time I have properly attempted a relationship in my four years in London. Most of the guys have been short-term flings, or relationships which were doomed from the start. This one started with good intentions and probably ended with good intentions as well.
Anyway, I need to stop dwelling upon it because I have a greater tendency to remember the good things rather than the bad things. I have to move on and I think maybe starting to write again might help me with that.
There are not many "single girl blogs" out there, mostly coz most single girl blogs start and either end up with singleton finding true love and turning into sappy relationship blog or the singleton getting so cynical and jaded she stops writing altogether. I don't know where this one will end up, but let's see.
I'll propose a toast to this blog of mine with my gin and tonic. And if you will excuse me, I've got some CSI to catch up on before I end out for some Friday Frolics.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
The sky hasn't fallen in....yet
It's been a long week. The global financial markets are in effective meltdown. I don't even want to think about how my equity investments are doing coz I know I sure ain't going to get a bonus next year. The good thing is that I still have a job nd enough cash to tide me over for a while.
I have friends who are talking through all sorts of doomsday scenarios. The sky is going to fall in...I am going to lose my job...I won't have any money...I won't be able to enjoy the same standard of living.... and it goes on. I don't want to listen to any of that because it's precisely this kind of mass hysteria which is driving the market down further. People no longer have confidence in the financial system and worse still no confidence in governments' abilities to solve the problem. We'd be all better if we got given two weeks off to spend chilling out by the beach in the sun. By the time we get back, life will be fine again, financial crisis solved, jobs saved.
And you know what, we have to put things into perspective. We re all still healthy and able. And hopefully most of us are surrounded by people who love us and care for us. And we should be focusing on the things that are really important.
Which brings me to the second meltdown this week - me. The guy I have been seeing for the last two months seems to have lost interest. His effort level has fallen dramatically since the first date. And I have put up with a lot of this crap, including him not calling or even texting between dates. I've excused him because his work situation isn't so great. But you know what, if he's not worried enough such that he's still out socialising and having fun with his other friends, then why should I let him off the hook?
But my meltdown wasn't about him. It was about me. It was about me realising that I haven't valued myself enough. I have not made myself enough of a priority in the time with him. And this is exactly how I hoot myself in the foot every time. Well girlfriend, something's got to change. I am a damn good catch and guys need to treat me like one!! Especially some shortie who is a lose in his career!
Yeap, it's been a long week. Next week's going to be better!
I have friends who are talking through all sorts of doomsday scenarios. The sky is going to fall in...I am going to lose my job...I won't have any money...I won't be able to enjoy the same standard of living.... and it goes on. I don't want to listen to any of that because it's precisely this kind of mass hysteria which is driving the market down further. People no longer have confidence in the financial system and worse still no confidence in governments' abilities to solve the problem. We'd be all better if we got given two weeks off to spend chilling out by the beach in the sun. By the time we get back, life will be fine again, financial crisis solved, jobs saved.
And you know what, we have to put things into perspective. We re all still healthy and able. And hopefully most of us are surrounded by people who love us and care for us. And we should be focusing on the things that are really important.
Which brings me to the second meltdown this week - me. The guy I have been seeing for the last two months seems to have lost interest. His effort level has fallen dramatically since the first date. And I have put up with a lot of this crap, including him not calling or even texting between dates. I've excused him because his work situation isn't so great. But you know what, if he's not worried enough such that he's still out socialising and having fun with his other friends, then why should I let him off the hook?
But my meltdown wasn't about him. It was about me. It was about me realising that I haven't valued myself enough. I have not made myself enough of a priority in the time with him. And this is exactly how I hoot myself in the foot every time. Well girlfriend, something's got to change. I am a damn good catch and guys need to treat me like one!! Especially some shortie who is a lose in his career!
Yeap, it's been a long week. Next week's going to be better!
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Playing hooky
I pulled a sickie this morning. And it's been great since. I slept in - did anyone tell you how amazing three hours of extra sleep is? I also savoured a pain au chocolat and nursed a coffee at Ottolenghi with the yummy mummies and trustafarians. And now I am slumming it at a cafe nearer to Bayswater. The yummy mummies (less yummy than at Ottolenghi) are startin to stream in for lunch now.
3 weeks ago, I went to Brussels to visit some friends I'd met while travelling in Vietnam. They are both TV producers and they produce reality TV shows in Flemish. Think Temptation Island in Flemish? As typical, their jobs aren't as glamorous as most people think. They work bloody hard. But as C put it, he was "doing the job he'd always wanted to do". Which reminded me of the chefs I'd met the weekend before that.
Which then brings it back to me. I pulled a sickie today because I couldn't bear the thought of going into work and having to work. I am sure people have offdays too. But I know that this is not what I want to be doing. So the natural question is what do I want to do?
Some brainstorming
- open my own restaurant
- become a restaurant consultant
- go work for a resort group (e.g. Aman Resorts)
- become an interior designer
- start a furniture business importing furniture from Asia
- become a private chef
- become a lifestyle consultant for rich hedge fund guys with money and little taste
I think my ideal job would
- have a global context
- not be desk-bound
- involve lots of human interaction
- require creativity
- pays for a decent standard of living
Any suggestions?
3 weeks ago, I went to Brussels to visit some friends I'd met while travelling in Vietnam. They are both TV producers and they produce reality TV shows in Flemish. Think Temptation Island in Flemish? As typical, their jobs aren't as glamorous as most people think. They work bloody hard. But as C put it, he was "doing the job he'd always wanted to do". Which reminded me of the chefs I'd met the weekend before that.
Which then brings it back to me. I pulled a sickie today because I couldn't bear the thought of going into work and having to work. I am sure people have offdays too. But I know that this is not what I want to be doing. So the natural question is what do I want to do?
Some brainstorming
- open my own restaurant
- become a restaurant consultant
- go work for a resort group (e.g. Aman Resorts)
- become an interior designer
- start a furniture business importing furniture from Asia
- become a private chef
- become a lifestyle consultant for rich hedge fund guys with money and little taste
I think my ideal job would
- have a global context
- not be desk-bound
- involve lots of human interaction
- require creativity
- pays for a decent standard of living
Any suggestions?
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
In the moment
Over the weekend, I went to Copenhagen. Primary reason for the trip was to go worship at the temple of Noma, a two-Michelin-starred modern Danish/Scandinavian restaurant.
And what an experience it was! I'm not a food blogger by any means, but this dinner was an experience beyond food.
We got there at 630pm, worked our way through the food and wine and eventually finished eating around 1230. The food was exquisite. The flavours were clean and showcased the ingredients (all sourced in Scandinavia) beautifully, whilst every dish delivered some element of surprise/excitement. We then got a kitchen tour by the wonderful Pontus (sommelier and part-owner of Noma) - "dez eese the Pacojet room..." and some how got convinced by Pontus to stay for a nightcap. One glass of whiskey and one story about "textbook-style crawls on wide-screen" by one very drunk sommelier later, the rest of the chefs had finished cleaning up and joined us for drinks. Before we knew it, it was 430 and one very tired waiter decided to throw us out. 10 hours!
I wrote the following email to thank the Noma team for the amazing experience I had:
"Dear Noma team,
I had a really amazing time on Saturday night, thank you so much for letting me share in the Noma experience. Many top restaurants strive for perfection and lose their soul in the process, but Noma manages to deliver a sublime experience (atmosphere, food, wine, service, everything!) while speaking from the heart. (Not to mention a surreal experience when Pontus starts telling you about his "textbook crawl on wide-screen"!) The ten hours we spent there were for me, one of those rare experiences in life where you're completely in the moment, forgetting where you came from and where you will go next. Thank you so much and I hope to see you all again.
S xx"
Noma for me was much more than just a meal. It was about the streamlined yet warm decor, the welcoming and friendly service, the food as mentioned before, the wonderful bio-dynamic wines, the company and of course, getting to hang out with the chefs. It was an experience in which I lost myself; I was totally in the moment. Every bite, every sip, every laugh...
Anyway, I have learnt if i-bankers think they have it tough, chefs work far longer hours doing far more demanding (physically) demanding, get yelled at more and get paid far less too. But they still do it, for the love of the job. Of course there are also days when they hate their jobs, but it takes passion to do their job they do. I am in awe of them for this level of commitment and jealous of them for having found their passion. But they have inspired me - there are jobs out there which are fulfilling, I just need to find the one that's right for me.
Man, I really want to go back to Noma now...
p.s. speaking of being in the moment, here's a great article about living in the moment
And what an experience it was! I'm not a food blogger by any means, but this dinner was an experience beyond food.
We got there at 630pm, worked our way through the food and wine and eventually finished eating around 1230. The food was exquisite. The flavours were clean and showcased the ingredients (all sourced in Scandinavia) beautifully, whilst every dish delivered some element of surprise/excitement. We then got a kitchen tour by the wonderful Pontus (sommelier and part-owner of Noma) - "dez eese the Pacojet room..." and some how got convinced by Pontus to stay for a nightcap. One glass of whiskey and one story about "textbook-style crawls on wide-screen" by one very drunk sommelier later, the rest of the chefs had finished cleaning up and joined us for drinks. Before we knew it, it was 430 and one very tired waiter decided to throw us out. 10 hours!
I wrote the following email to thank the Noma team for the amazing experience I had:
"Dear Noma team,
I had a really amazing time on Saturday night, thank you so much for letting me share in the Noma experience. Many top restaurants strive for perfection and lose their soul in the process, but Noma manages to deliver a sublime experience (atmosphere, food, wine, service, everything!) while speaking from the heart. (Not to mention a surreal experience when Pontus starts telling you about his "textbook crawl on wide-screen"!) The ten hours we spent there were for me, one of those rare experiences in life where you're completely in the moment, forgetting where you came from and where you will go next. Thank you so much and I hope to see you all again.
S xx"
Noma for me was much more than just a meal. It was about the streamlined yet warm decor, the welcoming and friendly service, the food as mentioned before, the wonderful bio-dynamic wines, the company and of course, getting to hang out with the chefs. It was an experience in which I lost myself; I was totally in the moment. Every bite, every sip, every laugh...
Anyway, I have learnt if i-bankers think they have it tough, chefs work far longer hours doing far more demanding (physically) demanding, get yelled at more and get paid far less too. But they still do it, for the love of the job. Of course there are also days when they hate their jobs, but it takes passion to do their job they do. I am in awe of them for this level of commitment and jealous of them for having found their passion. But they have inspired me - there are jobs out there which are fulfilling, I just need to find the one that's right for me.
Man, I really want to go back to Noma now...
p.s. speaking of being in the moment, here's a great article about living in the moment
Saturday, August 9, 2008
From London
I noticed it's been a good 3 months since my last post. And even before that, I'd started to slow down in my updates. I wasn't sure if I had any readers plus my own life was swirling downwards. But anyway, I am writing again today coz I got a comment recently from an anonymous reader, which I appreciated very much.
"I very much enjoyed reading your blog, as a fellow aSWer, your experience very much resonates with my own: Born in China, grew up in Canada, educated in UK, (had long distance boyfriend, now ex in NYC) and then moved to Singapore (for an investment bank) where i did not know a single soul.. it's nice to know that someone else is experiencing the same joys and pains of living a global life... the same optimism when it comes to dating even after you are heart-broken and dissapointed time and again. it makes me feel less alone.
It’s so hard you know, to repeat the same story over and over again; to meet strangers, become friends, and separate like strangers again; to cross oceans and not know much about the place where you will end up, the people you will meet, the joy you will experience or the hardships that you will have to endure.
Thanks for the blog, who knows, maybe see you at some point on an aSW event.
ciao "
Thank you, anonymous reader. It made me feel better that I wasn't just being some pathetic whiny person who over-reacted to what i saw to be the challenges in my life.
****************************
The update now:
I am back in London and so happy to be back. I've got a lovely flat in the best area of London (W2 of course!). I've been catching up with old friends, making some new ones and also spring-cleaning some who don't belong in my life anymore. I've re-started my programme of Sunday Night Dinners and they've been super fun so far. I've been going on a number of dates (some good, some bad and some downright funny). I've found myself a climbing partner and am trying to go once a week. I've found an amazing pilates studio and go once a week to get tortured by my pilates instructor. I'm also trying to learn roller blading (finally after 3 years of owning blades!) with a lot less success. I've moved back into my old desk at work and it feels like I never left for NY. I've also figured out what my next career might be and am trying to work towards it.
So the upshot is, I am in a good place right now and I am going to savour every moment of it. :)
p.s. I will blog about my dates coz some were definitely worth sharing
"I very much enjoyed reading your blog, as a fellow aSWer, your experience very much resonates with my own: Born in China, grew up in Canada, educated in UK, (had long distance boyfriend, now ex in NYC) and then moved to Singapore (for an investment bank) where i did not know a single soul.. it's nice to know that someone else is experiencing the same joys and pains of living a global life... the same optimism when it comes to dating even after you are heart-broken and dissapointed time and again. it makes me feel less alone.
It’s so hard you know, to repeat the same story over and over again; to meet strangers, become friends, and separate like strangers again; to cross oceans and not know much about the place where you will end up, the people you will meet, the joy you will experience or the hardships that you will have to endure.
Thanks for the blog, who knows, maybe see you at some point on an aSW event.
ciao "
Thank you, anonymous reader. It made me feel better that I wasn't just being some pathetic whiny person who over-reacted to what i saw to be the challenges in my life.
****************************
The update now:
I am back in London and so happy to be back. I've got a lovely flat in the best area of London (W2 of course!). I've been catching up with old friends, making some new ones and also spring-cleaning some who don't belong in my life anymore. I've re-started my programme of Sunday Night Dinners and they've been super fun so far. I've been going on a number of dates (some good, some bad and some downright funny). I've found myself a climbing partner and am trying to go once a week. I've found an amazing pilates studio and go once a week to get tortured by my pilates instructor. I'm also trying to learn roller blading (finally after 3 years of owning blades!) with a lot less success. I've moved back into my old desk at work and it feels like I never left for NY. I've also figured out what my next career might be and am trying to work towards it.
So the upshot is, I am in a good place right now and I am going to savour every moment of it. :)
p.s. I will blog about my dates coz some were definitely worth sharing
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