Starting over again

After the last twp fiascoes, you will not be surprised that I am going on a man-nesty.

I am thinking about taking some time out to travel this year. The idea excites me and scares me at the same time.

On the list: Costa Rica to learn surfing, Mexico, Brazil, Bali, Indonesia, Laos, Myanmar, Argentina, Peru for now. I am also hoping to get some kitchen apprenticeships along the way. And hopefully after all the travelling, I will be off to business school at the start of next year.

What's scary? Giving up what I have worked so hard to build - my life in London. This is where my friends are. Having been away once, this town is not going to be the same if/when I come back. I will have to start again.

I once wrote about being a global soul and being able to pack and unpack the essence of my life wherever I go to make myself feel at ease in new places. Maybe I am growing too old for that now?

On a more upbeat now, I will have amazing skin in about half an hour when I peel off my SK-II mask. Ah the wonders of expensive skincare!

In the moment

Over the weekend, I went to Copenhagen. Primary reason for the trip was to go worship at the temple of Noma, a two-Michelin-starred modern Danish/Scandinavian restaurant.

And what an experience it was! I'm not a food blogger by any means, but this dinner was an experience beyond food.



We got there at 630pm, worked our way through the food and wine and eventually finished eating around 1230. The food was exquisite. The flavours were clean and showcased the ingredients (all sourced in Scandinavia) beautifully, whilst every dish delivered some element of surprise/excitement. We then got a kitchen tour by the wonderful Pontus (sommelier and part-owner of Noma) - "dez eese the Pacojet room..." and some how got convinced by Pontus to stay for a nightcap. One glass of whiskey and one story about "textbook-style crawls on wide-screen" by one very drunk sommelier later, the rest of the chefs had finished cleaning up and joined us for drinks. Before we knew it, it was 430 and one very tired waiter decided to throw us out. 10 hours!

I wrote the following email to thank the Noma team for the amazing experience I had:

"Dear Noma team,

I had a really amazing time on Saturday night, thank you so much for letting me share in the Noma experience. Many top restaurants strive for perfection and lose their soul in the process, but Noma manages to deliver a sublime experience (atmosphere, food, wine, service, everything!) while speaking from the heart. (Not to mention a surreal experience when Pontus starts telling you about his "textbook crawl on wide-screen"!) The ten hours we spent there were for me, one of those rare experiences in life where you're completely in the moment, forgetting where you came from and where you will go next. Thank you so much and I hope to see you all again.

S xx"

Noma for me was much more than just a meal. It was about the streamlined yet warm decor, the welcoming and friendly service, the food as mentioned before, the wonderful bio-dynamic wines, the company and of course, getting to hang out with the chefs. It was an experience in which I lost myself; I was totally in the moment. Every bite, every sip, every laugh...

Anyway, I have learnt if i-bankers think they have it tough, chefs work far longer hours doing far more demanding (physically) demanding, get yelled at more and get paid far less too. But they still do it, for the love of the job. Of course there are also days when they hate their jobs, but it takes passion to do their job they do. I am in awe of them for this level of commitment and jealous of them for having found their passion. But they have inspired me - there are jobs out there which are fulfilling, I just need to find the one that's right for me.

Man, I really want to go back to Noma now...

p.s. speaking of being in the moment, here's a great article about living in the moment

From London

I noticed it's been a good 3 months since my last post. And even before that, I'd started to slow down in my updates. I wasn't sure if I had any readers plus my own life was swirling downwards. But anyway, I am writing again today coz I got a comment recently from an anonymous reader, which I appreciated very much.

"I very much enjoyed reading your blog, as a fellow aSWer, your experience very much resonates with my own: Born in China, grew up in Canada, educated in UK, (had long distance boyfriend, now ex in NYC) and then moved to Singapore (for an investment bank) where i did not know a single soul.. it's nice to know that someone else is experiencing the same joys and pains of living a global life... the same optimism when it comes to dating even after you are heart-broken and dissapointed time and again. it makes me feel less alone.

It’s so hard you know, to repeat the same story over and over again; to meet strangers, become friends, and separate like strangers again; to cross oceans and not know much about the place where you will end up, the people you will meet, the joy you will experience or the hardships that you will have to endure.

Thanks for the blog, who knows, maybe see you at some point on an aSW event.

ciao "

Thank you, anonymous reader. It made me feel better that I wasn't just being some pathetic whiny person who over-reacted to what i saw to be the challenges in my life.

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The update now:

I am back in London and so happy to be back. I've got a lovely flat in the best area of London (W2 of course!). I've been catching up with old friends, making some new ones and also spring-cleaning some who don't belong in my life anymore. I've re-started my programme of Sunday Night Dinners and they've been super fun so far. I've been going on a number of dates (some good, some bad and some downright funny). I've found myself a climbing partner and am trying to go once a week. I've found an amazing pilates studio and go once a week to get tortured by my pilates instructor. I'm also trying to learn roller blading (finally after 3 years of owning blades!) with a lot less success. I've moved back into my old desk at work and it feels like I never left for NY. I've also figured out what my next career might be and am trying to work towards it.

So the upshot is, I am in a good place right now and I am going to savour every moment of it. :)

p.s. I will blog about my dates coz some were definitely worth sharing

Sunday 11th November

It has been a while.

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My romance with San Francisco has finally ended. I am glad that I decided not to move there. Maybe it is the realization that SF is too 'granola' for me? Maybe it is the fact that I have finally given up on him? Maybe I am over-reacting after having one bad weekend in SF on my own with a 4-hour delay to get back to NY? Whatever it is, I thank that tarot card reader at Camden Market for guiding me towards the right decision.

I am not sure how much of her advice was based on her reading of my state of mind and how was of it was based on her reading of the tarot cards. I think she definitely could see that I wasn't convinced about my decision, especially if I was consulting her about it. And she told me what anyone else who saw that would tell me. She told me to do nothing for a month and then make my decision after that> She told me it didn't matter if I'd told people about my decision already, I could still change my mind if it was the right thing to do.

And that's what I did. I enjoyed summer in London, hung out with my nearest and dearest and then decided that I wasn't going to move to SF. The job was all wrong. I would be too far away from my support network. And it was the wrong reason for wanting to move there.

I went to a tarot card reader again when I first moved to NY. This tarot reader told me that there were people who were jealous of me and I should keep as much as possible to myself, be patient and everything will work out from December. She also told me that in terms of romance, there was a guy, M, whom I liked, and a guy, J, who is tryin to get into my life.

So far, the first bit has been kinda true. I am still not sure who I can trust at work but I do believe that things will somehow work out after December. As for the second bit, M is him I think, and I am still waiting for J to show up. I'll let you know when he does.

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I learnt tonight that in New York, a guy asking you to the movies on a Sunday night is probably not asking you out ona date. Shame that. He was well-travelled, funny, intelligent, decent-looking and (my Mom would love this) Asian! Ah well, at least I know for certain that tomorrow night will be a date. And no, his name is not J.

Wednesday 24th October

Just had lunch with a Singaporean friend who works in NY where we talked about 'home'. This reminded me of an essay I wrote about 2 years ago.

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To borrow a phrase from Pico Iyer, being a “global soul” matters most to me. In his book, “Global Soul: Jet Lag, Shopping Malls and the Search for Home”, Iyer describes the global soul as a postmodern wanderer who is searching for a sense of home. To me, a global soul experiences jet lag but not culture shock. He is a postmodern traveller who is neither an expatriate nor a local of the location he inhibits, but yet feels at home and relevant wherever he is. I have chosen a global lifestyle
and I believe being a global soul will allow me to survive and thrive in our new world order where people are in positions to choose their sense of tradition, of loyalty, of religion and of home as never before. Whilst I have been successful in meeting some of the challenges of being a global soul thus far, I believe that an MBA at Stanford GSB will make me better-positioned to explore the wonderful
possibilities of this new borderless world.

My own journey towards becoming a global soul started when I chose to go to university in the United Kingdom (UK) rather than remain in Singapore where I was born and bred. When I first arrived in the UK, I had not anticipated the degree of culture shock I actually experienced. Eventually as I interacted more with my British college mates, I gained a deeper understanding and tolerance for the British culture. I was also able to connect well with my British friends and now count them as some of my best friends. This first experience of adapting to life away from what I had called home for the previous eighteen years, was not always easy or pleasant.

Since then, the decisions I have made about where to live and work, have not been the least uncomplicated or easiest paths I could have chosen as well. I could have returned to Singapore which would have been comfortable but ultimately bland. My social circle would be comprised of the people who attended the same ‘elite’ schools as I did, and who would now mostly have good jobs in the civil service. Many of my peers appear to be on a certain fairly straightforward ‘cookie-cutter’ path which I probably would have followed if I had returned to Singapore – get married by the age
of 28, buy a government-subsidised flat and have three kids. However, this path did not appeal to me after three years living away, encountering new cultures, meeting a diverse range of people and seeing new places. New experiences thrill me and the awareness of the infinite possibilities this world offers keeps me on this global soul path even though it is not the easiest one.

Being a global soul is also important to me due to what I perceive to be the new global reality. We have witnessed the increasingly rapid convergence of cultures and systems in our world especially in recent years. Hit any capital city in the world and you are likely to find the multinational familiarity of global brands such as Starbucks, MacDonald’s and Microsoft. Cultural influences spread across the world unhindered by geographical boundaries. The Internet allows people from all
over the world to communicate and share knowledge like never before. All this has resulted in a new wave in the globalisation of businesses quite unlike the multinational corporations witnessed in the last century. The changes in international business have created new commercial opportunities and risks more rapidly than ever before. Given the growing relevance of international business, I believe that my career will require me to work and live across geographies. Being a global soul will allow me to transition seamlessly from one geographical location to another.

More importantly, my relationships are becoming increasingly globalised as friends and family disperse all around the world. I have not lived in the same continent as my best friends for the past six years, yet we remain very close in spite of the distance. Also, I have seen a large number of friends come and go due to the cosmopolitan nature of London. If home is where the heart is, then my home would be everywhere, or nowhere at all. I sometimes feel very lonely amidst this new
global pattern of relationships, and the ability to create a sense of home for myself anywhere and everywhere becomes all the more imperative as a survival mechanism. To avoid the sense of alienation experienced by the global soul on his fruitless, rootless and restless search for a sense of home, as described by Iyer in his book, I have strived to create my home within myself through my cultural baggage offering familiar comforts of home and living on my set of values.

I have packed my cultural baggage from my past experiences, particularly those from the last six years over which I became an adult. My own customs and practices are fast becoming an amalgamation from various cultures – I celebrate Thanksgiving as well as Chinese New Year. My diet is comprised of foods from multi-ethnic origins – Japanese, Indian, English, Italian, American, Moroccan and Singaporean. In fact, my idea of comfort food is Indian chicken vindaloo rather than any food I ate as a child. It also helps that culture is dynamic and these days cultural influence speeds
around the world with little regard for geography. Global branding has created similar cultural landmarks around the world like MacDonald’s familiar golden arches, albeit commercial but nonetheless strangely comforting sights in foreign cities. The idea of a physical geographical home is increasingly less significant to me as I am able to unpack my cultural luggage if required and relate easily to the local cultural landscape at the same time.

My home is also based upon my own set of values, which I have found to be surprisingly universal. Living in a highly cosmopolitan city such as London has afforded me the opportunity to meet many people from diverse national, professional and cultural backgrounds. In the two and a half years I have lived there, I have lived with a wedding photographer, a corporate banker, a model, a bond trader as well as a business development manager, who are all from different countries.
Through them and their friends, I have gained insights into the national, cultural, professional and educational similarities and differences between people. It was very heartwarming to find that there are certain universal values such as family and love, in spite of our different backgrounds. This has allowed me to connect meaningfully with and feel at home amongst people from all backgrounds.

I believe that as a global soul, I face the challenge in maintaining relevance to my location regardless of my circumstances or physical locations. I believe that an open and receptive attitude is key to maintaining relevance. On the one hand, there are some universal values and there has been increasing convergence of systems in this new global reality. On the other hand, globalism has led to greater focus on establishing individual identities, be it national, cultural or ideological. Being open and receptive allows me to adapt easily and quickly to these different identities. In addition, I have sought to travel as much as possible to develop a greater sensitivity towards local customs and identities. My recent trip to Japan highlighted the importance of this local sensitivity –despite also coming from an Asian background, there were still some cultural nuances which took me some time
to comprehend.

Global relevance in relation to careers is also important to global souls. Global souls often have a high degree of career mobility, in terms of job type as well as geography, allowing them to reinvent themselves. This process of renewal is necessary for acquiring the broad commercial skills that allow them to maintain their relevance and transit seamlessly from one business regime to another. The reality I face of working in the 21st century is the requirement to communicate in two or three languages and operate efficiently in several different cultures. In order to climb the corporate ladder, I will need to be able to communicate with colleagues and clients from different cultures, even while sitting in the home office. My own career in investment banking has only given me a wide exposure across industries. I believe though, that my perspective could be further broadened to
acquire greater global relevance. My clients so far have been UK-based companies operating under UK laws, customs and corporate governance regimes. I am also less familiar with the operational aspects of businesses than with the financial aspects.

I believe that an MBA at Stanford GSB will help me achieve global relevance. I will get the opportunity to interact more meaningfully with my fellow students from diverse backgrounds. Through working together with them on curriculum-related work as well as in extra-curricular student organisations, I will gain greater insights into their perspectives as shaped by their individual backgrounds. Furthermore, moving to California will give me the opportunity to experience living in
yet another country. The broader and deeper commercial understanding I will acquire at business school will help me achieve global career relevance and open the doors to more global career opportunities after business school as well.

Being a global soul and feeling at home and relevant wherever I am, is important and even necessary for me to continue exploring the infinite possibilities that the new global reality offers. The global lifestyle I have chosen is admittedly a challenging path, but will ultimately be the most rewarding for me.

Monday 10th September

Does anyone actually read this blog? I hope so.

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The seasons have definitely started to change. Even though it's still bloody hot and humid this evening. I hate it that it got dark before 8 today. And it's even more depressing to think that it will get dark progressively earlier from now onwards. And soon it will be cold. Why a tropical-born-and-bred girl like me chooses to live in a place which gets so cold for part of the year, I do not know.

But we should think positive.

And one positive thing about this weather is that S does not want to go out and play all the time. S will focus a little more on her work. S will spend more time on her wonderful sofa and watch her huge-ass TV more often. S will come home more evenings and cook healthy dinners for herself. S will have people over every Sunday for good food, good booze and cheerful company.

4 home-cooked meals in a row! And there's shrimp, tomato and basil pasta salad in the fridge for tomorrow's lunch too. Yeay me!

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This is why he is The One Who Got Away.

Will call this week. NY plans are changing some, but will be here.

Cool, you have my cell right? 212-XXX-XXXX

I do now =)
I see you have really got right into the American lingo...cell? Mobile sounds way more sexy, S.

Labor Day Weekend II

Being back in London for the weekend was good. Familiar and comforting. It felt as though I'd had a really good holiday away and then returned home. There are many reasons to consider London home. All my friends. My flat. My ability to walk around most parts of London without getting too lost. Borough Market. Fresco juice. Steamed egg. Crisp white sheets from The White Company. My London work environment. Did I mention all my friends?

Being back in NY was weird initially. Everything looked familiar but so strange.

I got thinkin about whether I would move back to London, and if so, when? I have no answers yet, but this quote does sum up my thoughts quite well.

”I yearn to settle now, to exchange the departure lounge for the drawing room, to stay somewhere where customs means no more than habits, to forget the tempting scents of Heathrow jet fuel and Punjabi wood smoke and settle instead for my own rose garden……But can I settle? And if I can – if kerosene and cooking fires and Kenyan mud are scents that will never lure me again – then where on earth, do I settle? I like it all in truth. Not Equatorial Guinea, perhaps, where once this newspaper sent me to write a profile of the World’s Worst Country; but elsewhere. I could live and die, quite happily in 100 places or more._
Am I doomed, like Buridan’s Ass, to hesitate ceaselessly between the equally alluring temptations of the myriad places I know, and in the end perish of place-starvation and location-thirst, unable to make up my mind?…………..Will this one (place) be right? Will this one be home? Might this, at last, be the Great Good Place? Or will the siren call of somewhere else sound once again and make this place, and the person I am going there with, be just as temporary as all before? ” - Simon Winchester