Starting over again

After the last twp fiascoes, you will not be surprised that I am going on a man-nesty.

I am thinking about taking some time out to travel this year. The idea excites me and scares me at the same time.

On the list: Costa Rica to learn surfing, Mexico, Brazil, Bali, Indonesia, Laos, Myanmar, Argentina, Peru for now. I am also hoping to get some kitchen apprenticeships along the way. And hopefully after all the travelling, I will be off to business school at the start of next year.

What's scary? Giving up what I have worked so hard to build - my life in London. This is where my friends are. Having been away once, this town is not going to be the same if/when I come back. I will have to start again.

I once wrote about being a global soul and being able to pack and unpack the essence of my life wherever I go to make myself feel at ease in new places. Maybe I am growing too old for that now?

On a more upbeat now, I will have amazing skin in about half an hour when I peel off my SK-II mask. Ah the wonders of expensive skincare!

From London

I noticed it's been a good 3 months since my last post. And even before that, I'd started to slow down in my updates. I wasn't sure if I had any readers plus my own life was swirling downwards. But anyway, I am writing again today coz I got a comment recently from an anonymous reader, which I appreciated very much.

"I very much enjoyed reading your blog, as a fellow aSWer, your experience very much resonates with my own: Born in China, grew up in Canada, educated in UK, (had long distance boyfriend, now ex in NYC) and then moved to Singapore (for an investment bank) where i did not know a single soul.. it's nice to know that someone else is experiencing the same joys and pains of living a global life... the same optimism when it comes to dating even after you are heart-broken and dissapointed time and again. it makes me feel less alone.

It’s so hard you know, to repeat the same story over and over again; to meet strangers, become friends, and separate like strangers again; to cross oceans and not know much about the place where you will end up, the people you will meet, the joy you will experience or the hardships that you will have to endure.

Thanks for the blog, who knows, maybe see you at some point on an aSW event.

ciao "

Thank you, anonymous reader. It made me feel better that I wasn't just being some pathetic whiny person who over-reacted to what i saw to be the challenges in my life.

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The update now:

I am back in London and so happy to be back. I've got a lovely flat in the best area of London (W2 of course!). I've been catching up with old friends, making some new ones and also spring-cleaning some who don't belong in my life anymore. I've re-started my programme of Sunday Night Dinners and they've been super fun so far. I've been going on a number of dates (some good, some bad and some downright funny). I've found myself a climbing partner and am trying to go once a week. I've found an amazing pilates studio and go once a week to get tortured by my pilates instructor. I'm also trying to learn roller blading (finally after 3 years of owning blades!) with a lot less success. I've moved back into my old desk at work and it feels like I never left for NY. I've also figured out what my next career might be and am trying to work towards it.

So the upshot is, I am in a good place right now and I am going to savour every moment of it. :)

p.s. I will blog about my dates coz some were definitely worth sharing

Appropriate footwear

Today was an exceptionally soggy day in London. Usually London rain comes in the form of a light drizzle, which whilst irritating, still allows people to go about most of their daily business without requiring a brollie. But today, the rain decided to fall hard enough to create puddles everywhere. By the time I got into work, my feet were almost soaked. Wet feet are possibly one of these worst ways to start your day (short of the horror of finding a long queue at the coffee store)

Anyway, if this was New York, everyone would be in their wellies. Stylish girls would be in their pastel coloured Hunters or Marc Jacobs wellies. And even the not-so-stylish girls would be in appropriate footwear. (I didn't stay long in NY enough to acquire a pair of these myself, but I certainly had my eye on a pair of baby blue Hunters.)

Now, London being a city which experiences more annual rainfall than NY, why don't people wear appropriate footwear around? Is it because Londoners inherently don't like making life easier for themselves, preferring to have the pleasure of moaning about wet feet instead?

It does seem as though the English pride themselves on a stoicism which on the one hand, represents great tolerance and endurance. However, this pride also allows for self-indulgence in the form of constant moaning about things not working, instead of them getting off their arses to get it done.

People tend to take on the character of the city they live in, or vice versa. Before I left London, I was definitely feeling defeated even before having tried and was ever so weary. This time around, I am feeling revived and energetic and ready to take on this city all over again. But it will be change in small steps and I will pick my battles this time, wearing the appropriate footwear of course!

April 27th

What a difference a year makes. This time last year, I just arrived in NY, fresh from a month-long break and full of hope and promise about life in NY. This time this year, no month-long break but here I am, back in London, full of hope and promise about life in London.

Not going into details about why I decided to move back, but I think overall London offers a more sustainable pace long-term. And please, I offer no guarantees on where I will be this time next year.

So to follow up on a couple of things...

1) Eligible men in London - Hmmm, this one hasn't quite worked out. Eligible Bachelor 1 turns out to be a commitment-phobe possibly also with a fear of letting people get close. Eligible Bachelor 2 has taken a leave of absence and will only be back in London in August. And Eligible Bachelor 3, we are probably better off as friends. So if you know of any other eligible men in London, I scrub up well, am able to make fairly interesting/funny conversation and can tell my martinis from my whiskeys. Do let me know!

2) I now have a flatmate in London. He's French, Jewish and most definitely a ladies' man. At the time of writing, he was last seen getting ready to go "hunting" and that was about 48 hours ago. He will definitely be an entertaining flatmate...

3) In the past year away, I actually grew closer to a couple of my friends in London than when I was actually in London. Talk about absence makes the heart grow fonder. Anyway, now that I am back, I have managed to catch up with most of my friends. Some of them have moved on, getting married or settling into very long-term relationships. And whilst they remain interesting people and good friends, they're ermm...kinda...less fun to hang out with. So I am on the look-out for new friends in London too. If you know of any interesting and fun singles in London, do let me know!

4) Boy have I missed the English capacity to take the piss! Being back here made me appreciate the English self-deprecating sense of humour more than ever.

5) The restaurant scene around Bayswater has improved like 300-fold! And that is significant given that they already had Gold Mine* when I left for NY. There is now a great little Italian takeaway joint, Arancina, which has fresh pastas and pizzas. There is Bodean's, a great American-styled ribs joint. There's Cafe Anglais, Rowley Leigh's latest venture after Kensington Place. And there is Hereford Road, which has been touted as the St John of the West. Hardly surprising given the chef (Tom Pemberton) used to work there and the menu is strikingly similar. But I have a lot more confidence in the place as it occupies a great space in a very good location; I think it will mature into a very fine restaurant which I will be proud to call 'my local'.

And last one for today, in a NY-LON comparison, London flats seem to be poorly heated or poorly built for heat conduction. I'm freezing!

* In my opinion, the best Chinese restaurant in London.

NYLON. I meant New York - London rather than the synthetic fibre. It is a relatively easy crossing to make. From NY, leave in Fri evening, arrive Sat morning, leave Sunday evening and arrive Sunday evening, in time for work the next day. From London, leave Fri evening, arrive Fri evening, leave Sunday evening and arrive Monday morning in time for work. And because you're going for such a short period, you don't need more than a cabin bag's worth of clothing/stuff so you're out of the airport as quickly as customs will permit it.

It does get a little absurd though when you've done your fourth NYLON crossing in nine months. And in the case of the last crossing, I only told less than 5 people because I feared friends were getting a little sick of seeing me back in London again. I was afraid people would figure out that I wasn't all that happy in NY and that's why I keep going back to London to seek refuge.

It does sound a little crazy for one to say that they are not enjoying NY. I mean, what is there not to enjoy about it? The fact that my dry-cleaning gets picked up and dropped off at my building without me ever having to go to the dry-cleaners? The fact that I can get any food I want delivered to my doorstep? The fact that cabs are cheap and plentiful? The fact that I have been on more dates in the last nine months than I did in four years in London? The fact that I have an amazing apartment with an amazing location?

I *have* enjoyed NY. But I have also come to realize that my heart is in London. I have become far closer to some of my friends in London over the past 9 months in NY. And I miss them terribly. I also miss the stoic English sensibility. And I feel superficial and uncultured over here. People seem to be too busy chasing the next better thing. Oh and I also shop waaaaay too much over here - combination of convenient Internet shopping and proliferation of pretty things around. Oh and the boys in London - well, that's for another entry...

I am not sure how many more NYLON crossings I will be doing or where I will end up, but I just wanted to put this down for now.

p.s. yes, I am alive!

Labor Day Weekend

Habits. You don't realise how much of a routine you have until you break it. I was in London over Labor Day weekend and stayed with a friend in Bayswater where I'd spent the most time in London.

I got my usual Fresco juice almost everyday I was in town. "Number 18, no honey but with with apple." I totally swear by this carrot-apple-lemon-ginger combo, especially on a Saturday morning when you've been out late the night before.

My kind host was the friend with whom I had breakfast with every Saturday morning (of course only after we got our juice from Fresco) when I lived in Bayswater. Him in a hungover state most of the time, with confessions of misbehaviour from hard Friday night drinking. Me sometimes feeling rough around the edges. Sometimes we would read the weekend papers together too, almost like an old married couple. We revived our time-honoured tradition again this weekend.

And while we're on Bayswater habits, I also made it to Gold Mine for the sam sek cheng sui tan (steamed century egg, salted duck's egg and normal egg). This is one of the dishes which is on my death-row foods list. (This and Fresco's aubergine in tomato sauce). Let's not forget dimsum at Royal China, twice! It is difficult to believe but Chinese food in London is simply unbeatable.

I also made it to Borough Market which was an important part of my new Saturday routine for my last three months in London. I was late though and only managed to get some Monmouth Coffee, of which I was been dreaming about for the longest time. Trust me, you have not tasted better coffee than Monmouth.

The market was closing up so I sat on the curb opposite Monmouth to drink my coffee and soak in the atmosphere. I ended up having a totally random conversation with some hippie about having and not having it. I knew at that point, I had it and how blessed I was to have it.

Saturday 28th July

Truth and trust are such elusive concepts. Some people tell lies, some people offer up an incomplete truth through omission. So who should you trust? Can you even trust your own gut instinct?

So the VP update. We had drinks again last night but I told him in no uncertain terms that the fact that he had a girlfriend was a dealbreaker. But then, I have been doing my due diligence on the guy. And it turns out that he'd got quite a reputation in the office for being a slut. A 20-year-old intern?! Anyway, I asked him about it and he was like "that's not the truth, but I don't mind having these rumors spread in the office." I am really not sure what to think. Anyway, the more I find out, the more I think this is one situation I should avoid, girlfriend or not.

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3 months in NY, 15 to go.