Sunday, October 26, 2008

Crystal ball gazing

I went to see a psychic/fortune teller yesterday. She wasn't the gypsy in fringe-y layer-y clothing you'd have expected. Instead, she was a perfectly pleasant elderly Dutch lady.

With psychics, it is always hard to tell how much they are saying is really your fortune or whether they are just extremely perceptive people who are able to read people well. I guess the best approach to take is not to ask questions at the beginning and just let them ramble. I think they work best when they don't know what they are expected to say.

So why would an educated and highly intelligent young woman go to see a psychic? Well, because I needed to pay some nice old lady 50 quid to tell me that the sky wasn't going to fall in and that I'd be OK. Seriously though, I think she made a few good points:

- I have been moving around a fair bit and will continue doin so for the next little while
- I probably won't be in London in the long term, something about the climate doesn't agree with me
- wherever I end up in the future, I will have two homes
- I will be settled at some point, but it will be linked with a partner
- the man I will end up with is someone who will want to take care of me and will possibly have been married before
- the match I end up with will be as much of a rational decision as an emotional decision
- i will start a new business venture soon and I have to bear in mind that this is only the first step, not the be-all-end-all
- next Spring will be a very important period for my big change
- I will retain some connection to the States, possibly Florida
- I should consume less dairy
- I need to have more fun!

What I got out of this was reassurance rather than anything else. I have been feeling very unsettled recently, and possibly also a little down. And I needed someone to tell me everything was going to be OK. And that's what I got.

OK, it's time for me to go out and have some fun now.

p.s. why must all scenes in CSI be shot in mostly darkness? How do you operate a scientific lab without fluorescent lighting?
p.p.s. one thing that sucks about being single is not being able to laze in bed with a warm body beside you and the prospect of spending the day in bed having lots of hot sex. oh well, moving on!

Friday, October 24, 2008

Picking myself up

This has been a long week. I ended things with this guy I have been seeing. There were a lot of things going for us, but ultimately I don't think either of us were ready to commit properly to a relationship.

I learnt a lot from it. This is kinda the first time I have properly attempted a relationship in my four years in London. Most of the guys have been short-term flings, or relationships which were doomed from the start. This one started with good intentions and probably ended with good intentions as well.

Anyway, I need to stop dwelling upon it because I have a greater tendency to remember the good things rather than the bad things. I have to move on and I think maybe starting to write again might help me with that.

There are not many "single girl blogs" out there, mostly coz most single girl blogs start and either end up with singleton finding true love and turning into sappy relationship blog or the singleton getting so cynical and jaded she stops writing altogether. I don't know where this one will end up, but let's see.

I'll propose a toast to this blog of mine with my gin and tonic. And if you will excuse me, I've got some CSI to catch up on before I end out for some Friday Frolics.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

The sky hasn't fallen in....yet

It's been a long week. The global financial markets are in effective meltdown. I don't even want to think about how my equity investments are doing coz I know I sure ain't going to get a bonus next year. The good thing is that I still have a job nd enough cash to tide me over for a while.

I have friends who are talking through all sorts of doomsday scenarios. The sky is going to fall in...I am going to lose my job...I won't have any money...I won't be able to enjoy the same standard of living.... and it goes on. I don't want to listen to any of that because it's precisely this kind of mass hysteria which is driving the market down further. People no longer have confidence in the financial system and worse still no confidence in governments' abilities to solve the problem. We'd be all better if we got given two weeks off to spend chilling out by the beach in the sun. By the time we get back, life will be fine again, financial crisis solved, jobs saved.

And you know what, we have to put things into perspective. We re all still healthy and able. And hopefully most of us are surrounded by people who love us and care for us. And we should be focusing on the things that are really important.

Which brings me to the second meltdown this week - me. The guy I have been seeing for the last two months seems to have lost interest. His effort level has fallen dramatically since the first date. And I have put up with a lot of this crap, including him not calling or even texting between dates. I've excused him because his work situation isn't so great. But you know what, if he's not worried enough such that he's still out socialising and having fun with his other friends, then why should I let him off the hook?

But my meltdown wasn't about him. It was about me. It was about me realising that I haven't valued myself enough. I have not made myself enough of a priority in the time with him. And this is exactly how I hoot myself in the foot every time. Well girlfriend, something's got to change. I am a damn good catch and guys need to treat me like one!! Especially some shortie who is a lose in his career!

Yeap, it's been a long week. Next week's going to be better!